Bennett: A nicely aging Oozefest gets ready to show off cheese-filled creativity

I have a confession: I like cheese. No, like, I really really like cheese. I like basic cheeses made from cow’s milk. I like buttery cheeses made from goat’s milk. I even like the fatty, slightly sweet cheeses made from sheep’s milk.

I like my cheese hard like a Spanish Manchego. I like my cheese soft and mushy like a triple cream Brie. I even like it crumbly like a Gorgonzola or orange and processed like a good old slice of Kraft American singles. What can I say? I’m an equal opportunity cheese monger.

I’ve been known to cover my pasta in a snowfall of Parmesan and pecorino shreds and to snack my way through an entire pack of skim-milk string cheeses in a week. I’m also a superfan of the Murray’s Cheese Shops hiding inside Ralph’s Grocery Stores (there’s one in Huntington Beach), where I am a regular crate digger, making my way through the “Under $5” bins for what I like to call “bachelorette-sized” samples of new adventures in funky, grass-fed weirdness.

I’ve eaten that cheese with wine like a cliché. I’ve eaten other cheese melted among three layers of pizza like a good Chicago tourist. And I’ve even eaten cheese melted over fresh sushi, because that’s how they do it in Sinaloa.

Still, nothing in my cheese-filled life quite prepared me for Oozefest.

As the only food festival of its kind, Oozefest is not the place to celebrate the pinkie-out, sip-sip kind of cheese love, where you daintily pluck cubes of cave-aged St. Stephen with a toothpick and schmooze with the importer until he offers you another sample.

Instead, the O.C. original — which returns to Santa Ana for the second year Oct. 15 and 16 — is a two-day show off for SoCal’s ballsiest chefs, who bring their gooiest, saltiest, milkiest, craziest, one-off shock-value creations to the lucky cheese-lovers in attendance.

Conceived as a collaboration between hyper-caloric bro-food worship blog Foodbeast and O.C.-based event planning and PR company 100 Eats, last year’s Oozefest was the place that first gave the world hamburgers with mozzarella sticks for buns, a pile of cotton candy dusted with powdered Cheeto-like cheese, and for dessert, pecan praline ice cream doused in warm nacho cheese and topped with chili-lime Japanese peanuts.

Perhaps more surprising than the increasingly ridiculous combinations I downed at the inaugural Oozefest was the fact that all of these hyper-caloric creations — Slapfish brought a crunchy/warm/sweet lobster-mascarpone beignet, the day’s Best of Show winner — weren’t just edible, they were downright delicious (you’ll have to trust me on the ice cream, but I’m craving it right now). On creativity alone, it was one of the best food events in SoCal last year.

This time organizers are doubling down on the food coma-inducing festivities, turning Oozefest into two full days of cheese love replete with a pizza-eating contest, a photo booth in which you can perch atop a 20-foot bed of cheese (and literally say “cheese”) and a nacho cheese dunk tank where you can convince your bravest friend to let you take aim as a bucket of nacho cheese awaits tipping on their head (don’t worry, he or she will get a poncho).

The list of participating restaurants is also expanding, with additions like Sit Low Pho (bringing ham and cheese egg rolls), Cafe Calacas (queso fundido brioche donut), green2Go (pumpkin spice mac and cheese) and L.A.’s All Flavor No Grease, a street cart already known for its legendary super quesadillas. Even the fancy Five Crowns steakhouse is getting in on the fun, bringing a lamb cheesesteak sandwich that goes for the jugular of Philly’s pride and joy.

And what would a cheese festival be without the most Instagrammed dish of the year in attendance? Santa Monica’s Chomp Eatery will be making a rare O.C. appearance with its now-famous “Unicorn Melt,” a take on the classic grilled cheese made with food-dye-infused cheeses that turns an ordinary childhood snack into a rainbow worthy of a slow-motion pull-apart shot.

A new pricing option also lets you pay as you go for the food once you’re inside, but with dishes ranging from $5-$10 each, you’ll want to splurge for the $50 VIP ticket.

As if all the cheese love wasn’t enough to entice you to Oozefest, there also will be an ample selection of local beer, including Unsung Brewing, 4 Sons and The Good Beer Company, bringing one-off collaborations just for this very special day.

As a serious cheese fiend (I’m nibbling on a nub of Provolone right now), I do not exaggerate when I say that Oozefest might be my favorite day of the year. It’s a rare chance to eat through not only the regular cheese uses of pasta toppings and carb fillings, but to see what kind of kooky cheese dishes the chefs of Orange County (and, this year, beyond) can come up with when given free reign for a weekend to let their cheesy freak flag fly high.

I have my stretch pants all picked out for the occasion and I’m dedicated to eating nothing but salad for the rest of the week. Bring it on cheese coma — my body is ready.

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SARAH BENNETT is a freelance journalist covering food, drink, music, culture and more. She is the former food editor at L.A. Weekly and a founding editor of Beer Paper L.A. Follow her on Twitter @thesarahbennett.